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Content Starts Attention Travelers: Three Product Recalls

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Greetings Travelers,

This is the Attendant. I really hope you’ve stopped at one of our communication stations and are reading this, otherwise I’m writing in vain. I wanted to make you aware of some products that we’ve recently discovered may not be safe to consume or have near your person.

A couple travelers ago, our Mechanic (Mac) loveable as he is, decided it was “Prankster Day” and began making alterations to otherwise completely safe items.

Please, if you have any of these products in your possession discard them immediately (I’m not normally a fan of littering on the Astral Highway, but this time, I’m more than okay with it):

Teraseraphic Soda
A number of bottles were replaced with synthetic wolf urine and blue dye. This will not make you sick, but it might not taste great.

French Vanilla Coffee Creamers
These were injected with teraseraphic soda, which is a powerful stimulant. When mixed with coffee it can produce internal explosions (gurgle guts as Mac calls them). You won’t die because you can’t, but you might wish that you could.

Maps
This isn’t really a product recall, but something to be aware of. You may see a stop on the 10th Sphere called Mac’s Super Fun Playhouse. Mac drew that there. It doesn’t exist. Leaving the highway is dangerous. Sorry about the lack of playhouses you’ll encounter.

Thanks for taking the time to read this message. Stay safe out there, travelers.

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