Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station is dedicated to ensuring that you’re prepared for your journey across the Celestial Spheres. Located on the right side of the celestial highway shortly after you enter the Astral Plane.
All of our products and services are provided to you at absolutely no cost as deemed by the superiors.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Am I Dead?
How many snacks do I need for my journey?
As many or few as you want. Since you’re no longer in the physical plane, certain aspects of your nature will differ from your life on Earth. For instance, you will not experience hunger. Rather, you will experience cravings, both in terms of taste and emotional experiences.
What if I’m glitching when I arrive on the Astral Plane?
You’re experiencing something known as S.U.B.-ing, a play on the acronym S.U.B. (Significant Unfinished Business). If treated in time, your existence will stabilize and you’ll be able to continue on your journey to the next life. If unable to identify and come to terms with the nature of your unfinished business, you will phase out of this plane of existence. What happens to your essence after this remains a mystery.
Is the journey across the celestial spheres dangerous?
The journey is filled with wonder and fraught with danger, but have no fear. Our complimentary map will guide you safely along your way. If you remember anything, remember this. Do not interact with Sphere Movers. These extremely powerful celestial beings can be either malevolent or benevolent, but it’s nearly impossible to tell by external appearance. As the saying goes, “They may look evil, friendly, or sad. Not worth the risk. Assume they’re all bad.”
Why am I driving a 1986 Buick Skylark?
Modes of celestial transportation have varied throughout the ages (We think?), and the reason for each iteration of transport remains unknown. What is known is that the type of vehicle provided to travelers changed the moment the current Attendant began their shift. Shifts do not end until the current Attendant resigns from duty and is (probably?) replaced.
Is Desert Skies the only Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station in this plane of existence?
Seems unlikely. Though, if there are others, we haven’t been made aware of them.
Why am I travelling by myself if I died in a multi-fatality incident (i.e. plane crash)?
It is very, very rare that two travelers will occupy the station at the same time. Even travelers who died of the same cause only moments apart can find their arrivals spaced apart by one, two, or a hundred travelers. No need to worry. We’ll assure that your loved ones are prepared for their journey and will make it safely to the next plane of existence.
How does time work in this plane of existence?
How is it possible to drive a 1986 Buick Skylark down a celestial highway that traverses 33 spheres that are constantly being set in motion by extremely powerful celestial beings?
No clue, but if you figure it out come back and tell us.
Just kidding. Don’t come back.