Station Report #5,342,618

Temperature: 78 degrees (like it always is, unless Corson visits)

UV Index: 0

Wind: No (like it always is, unless Corson visits)

Number of Visitors Since Last Report: 10,003

Supplies Needed: 2 Cases of Teraseraphic Soda, 1 Case of Bugles, 4 Lawrence and Debbie’s Chicken and Waffles stuffed, 6 David’s Devil’s Food Caker, 1 Jug Synthetic World Urine, 3-Pack Keyboard Cleaning Duster

Equipment Repairs: Please make the crushed ice dispenser stop screaming

Travelers of Note: Traveler Gary Buster arrived at the station experiencing significant distress. He began S.U.B.ing (Significant Unfinished Business) the moment that he entered the station. I performed a S.U.B. Diagnostic immediately. We didn’t even make it past question #1 “In your time on the physical plane did anyone murder a member of your family and did you seek to avenge their death?”

He didn’t hesitate for a moment. Simply replied, “Yes, and I will find no peace in death until the murderer of my beloved uncle-in-law has breathed her last!”

We asked the name of his uncle-in-law’s murderer and were fortunate to discover that the murderer, his aunt-in-law, had already visited the station. Apparently, after attempting to escape the scene of the murder, she tripped and fell out of an open window on the third floor, landing among the shrubs outside. Her body had been dragged away by a team of beavers and never discovered.

Mr. Buster felt cheated by this revelation. He exclaimed, “That damn woman!”

To which the Mechanic (Who is a very funny human) replied, “Hey, if she was carried away by beavers, there’s a chance they thought she was a log!”

To which the traveler replied, “So?”

To which the Mechanic responded, “That would mean there’s a good chance that she is, in fact, a daaaam woman.”

The traveler began chuckling, which morphed into a subtle giggle, then went on to become full-on uproarious laughter.

The glitches stopped. No more S.U.B.ing. The traveler found peace and was able to continue on his journey to the next plane of existence.

Anything Else to Report: Not at this time