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Content Starts Crushed Ice

Cash: Incoming broadcast from Desert Skies


Tendy: Greetings Traveler, this is the Attendant of Desert Skies. You’re listening to Desert Skies FM, coming live to you from the Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station.

Before we get started, I wanted to give a brief warning to a specific traveler. Nancy Barstow, our mechanic is fairly certain that you took his 32 oz Soul Buster thinking it was yours. His was filled with Mac’s Shack Juice.

Mac: Nancy, seriously. You have to build up a tolerance to this stuff. But, if you’re feeling adventurous, don’t drink it, try pouring it in your gas tank. I’ve never tried it, but who knows? It might be really cool and make your Buick go faster.

Tendy: Thanks, Mac. Nancy, please don’t pour shack juice in your gas tank.

Mac: Yeah, Nancy. You wouldn’t wanna be cool as shit.

Tendy: Seriously Mac?

Mac: I’ll stop.

Tendy: Moving on, it’s time for a safe travel tip.


Tendy: Aside from not pouring Shack Juice into your gas tank, there’s something else you can do to stay nice and safe while traversing the celestial spheres, and that’s stay in your car when you reach the Martian Sphere and keep the windows rolled up.

You should have picked up a map before you departed the Desert Skies Fuel and Service Center. If you look at it you can get an idea of exactly where the Martian Sphere is located. It’s the one with a snowflake shaped like a skull next to it. 

From the comfort of your climate controlled, well-insulated Skylark, the Martian Sphere may appear like a warm, desolate, and oddly welcoming environment. It’s not. It has temperatures that are far below what you might expect.

Mac: I believe the technical term is freezing ass cold, Tendy.

Tendy: Sure. Anyways, stay in the car, get through the sphere as fast as you can. You should be fine.

Mac: Is that all?

Tendy: Yep, that’s all.

Mac: Fan-tastic. Mac the Mechanic hear with this edition of Rest Your Weary Soul 


A lot of travelers ask what lies beyond the 33rd sphere, but there is very little known about what waits for us in the next life. We know that Prime Mover is the guardian of the gate into that life, but beyond their title, Prime Mover is also a mystery to us.

There’s somethin’ scary about the unknown. Like, what is actually happening inside of the ice maker of a soda dispenser. Where is the water coming from? Is the ice that drops into the ice catcher just melting then being recycled back into the ice maker. Some ice comes out in cubes. Some comes out crushed. Was the crushed ice a brother or sister to the cubed ice, and was the crushing of them a traumatic event for the cubed?

But beyond the ice machine, many of the things that are unknown to us turn out to not be as scary as we had previously imagined. Back when you were on the physical plane, you probably were scared to go on a blind date. Maybe the person you went on the date with became your soul mate, and maybe romance did not bloom but a friendship was created, and maybe you were outright rejected, but that made you stronger, and you got to watch the person who rejected you go onto to live a life of misery. Hopefully, you did not gloat about it.

Maybe you were scared of flying on an airplane. When it first took off you were certain that it would incur a significant malfunction and come plummeting to the ground, or that you would look out the window and see a sky demon taking the plane apart. But did your plane go down? No, of course it didn’t. Unless it did, and that’s why you’re here on the Astral Plane now. That’s not so bad, is it?

All that to say, there’s a good chance that many of the things you were afraid of didn’t turn out to be that scary at all. And also a chance that a few things you were afraid of, like becoming a mom or dad, or changing a career, or sharing something personal and vulnerable about yourself you thought would get you kicked out of the Waffle House, not only weren’t scary on the other side, they turned out to be some of the best things you ever accomplished.

I don’t know what lies beyond the 33rd sphere, but I have a good feeling that it’s nothing to be scared of, and I think it’s even possible it could be one the best places you’ve ever been.

Don’t stress it, Traveler. Rest your weary soul.

Tendy: That was great, Mac.

Mac: Thanks Tendy. I don’t know where I get this stuff. It just flows out of me sometimes.

Tendy: Hmmm. Alright, next up. This portion of the broadcast is for those travelers freshly arriving from the physical plane. Look for the Desert Skies sign, you’ll be here soon.

Music Begins Playing

We stepped outside of the station briefly not long ago, and when we came back inside we noticed a change to our selection of potato chips. We now have salt & vinegar flavored. No idea where they came from, so if you want a bag, Mac has volunteered to try them first.

Mac: It would be my honor to put my existence at risk for you Traveler.

Tendy: You’re a good man.

Mac: Heck yeah, I am.

Tendy: Also, Mac mentioned this earlier, but the new soda fountain we received now makes both cubed and crushed ice. Not to worry you, but occasionally there are small icy screaming noises coming from the machine whenever the crushed ice is dispensed. Try not to let it get to you though. I’m sure the machine’ss just been enchanted or something and that the ice isn’t really crying out in terror.

Mac: Enchanted  or not, it will haunt your nightmares

Tendy: And that’s our broadcast, Traveler. Thanks for listening.

Cash: If you’d like to learn more about Desert Skies, just visit a communication station along the Astral Highway. From there, be sure to visit, where you can sign our guestbook, read some articles, or access transcripts.

Also, be sure to subscribe to our primary podcast transmission simply called Desert Skies, available everywhere you listen to podcasts, I mean broadcast.
Now back to your regular programming.