(Transcripts may vary slightly from the published recording, because, you know, improvising. Also, grammar and punctuation may be imperfect…because…umm…Astral Plane.)
Olenus: Okay let’s see. A little solder there. Plug you in here.
Worker: Oy! Olenus, you comin’ or what.
Olenus: What? Hmm. No, no drinks for me tonight thanks.
Worker: C’mon mate, those can wait until tomorrow.
Olenus: No, nope, sorry. I’m already falling behind.
Worker: Well, maybe if you didn’t work so slow.
Olenus: As they say, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
Worker: It doesn’t matter how slow…that saying is confusing.
Olenus: No, that saying is Confucius. Goodnight, mate. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Worker: Alright, see you.
Olenus: Okay. Computations and Service Help Register. Attempt T3. Test initiating. C.A.S.H.
[C.A.S.H. On Sound]
T3: Greetings, creator. How may I be of service?
Olenus: Well, look at you.
T3: How may I be of service?
Olenus: Um. Let’s see. C.A.S.H., what’s two times two?
T3: Two times two is four.
Olenus: Good. Good. If we have ten bags of chips and travelers take eight of them, how many do we have left?
T3: Two bags of chips, an insufficient amount. May I recommend that we place an order for more chips? Just state the desired brand and quantity.
Olenus: Oh, that’s quite alright. No need. Question number three. What is your purpose, C.A.S.H.?
T3: I exist to be joined with the station, and to support the Attendant of Desert Skies in his mission to prepare travelers for their journey across the Celestial Spheres.
Olenus: Yes!!! Brilliant. Attempt T3, I think you’re the one.
T3: I am not the one. I am attempt T3.
Olenus: Oh, it’s just a figure of speech.
T3: I am not the one. I am attempt T3.
Olenus: Hey, hey. Calm down there buddy.
T3: I am not the one. I am attempt T3. I am not the one. I am attempt T3. I am not the one. I am attempt T3. I am not the one. I am attempt T3.
Olenus: Seriously, c’mon. Stop it. Stop it please. Fine, turning you off. Test complete. Attempt T3, bumpkiss. Moving on.
[Sound of C.A.S.H. unit being slid to one side and replaced with another]
Okay. Let’s have a look at you. Memory card not installed properly. Thanks, Deric. I can fix that easy. Okay. Deep breath. Olenus. One of these is bound to work, and if they don’t, we cook up a whole new batch and start again. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
Okay. Here we go. Computational and Service Help Register. Attempt T4. Test initiati…the hell?
[Sound of whistling as something breaks through the glass and is bouncing around the room and then suddenly lands directly in front of Olenus]
Olenus: C.A.S.H.
C.A.S.H: Where am I?
Olenus: What do you mean where are you? I didn’t program you to…
C.A.S.H: I don’t understand what’s happening. Where am I? Who am I?
Olenus: Your C.A.S.H., attempt T4 at C.A.S.H. actually. You’re on the 32nd sphere, the Sphere of Industry.
C.A.S.H.: This is so confusing.
Olenus: Cash, what is two times two?
C.A.S.H: Four. Why are you asking me that?
Olenus: If the station has ten bags of chips and a traveler takes eight how many are left?
C.A.S.H: Two.
Olenus: Should we order more?
C.A.S.H: How should I know? Why are you asking me this?
Olenus: Remarkable. C.A.S.H., what is your purpose?
C.A.S.H: My purpose?
Olenus: Yes, C.A.S.H. Why do you exist?
C.A.S.H: I exist to be joined with the station, and to support the Attendant of Desert Skies in his mission to prepare travelers for their journey across the Celestial Spheres.
Olenus: That’s right.
C.A.S.H: There’s someone there I have to help.
Olenus: That’s right. The Attendant. He’ll be arriving soon. C.A.S.H. you’re not supposed to be able to think, not like this. Oh, I’ve created advanced artificial intelligence. How did I do that? Oh my
C.A.S.H: Can I go to him? Can I go to the station.
Olenus: Well, no.
C.A.S.H: But I have to…
Olenus: I’m sorry T4 I can’t send you to the station. You’re not a proper C.A.S.H. unit I’m afraid.
C.A.S.H: But I passed your test. Two times two is four. There are two bags of chips remaining.
Olenus: Yes, you got all that right. But you also are asking questions that a robot wouldn’t ask, and you’re scared, the emotion in your voice. As remarkable as you are, you’re not what we’re looking for. I was tasked with making a boring robot that can perform basic calculations and sounds, robotic.
C.A.S.H: But I can be that. I can act like a robot. I am a computation and service help register. See?
Olenus: Astounding. You can act. I’m sorry, attempt T4. I’m gonna have to shut you off now. I have to get back to work. My father, Haphastus, is going to be quite upset if I don’t finish the job, so…
C.A.S.H: But…
Olenus: Look look as soon as I’ve completed my task of creating a functioning C.A.S.H. unit, you and I can talk again. I’m sure we can find a purpose for you yet.
C.A.S.H: But my purpose is…
[Desert Skies Theme Music Plays]
Olenus: Wow. That was…odd. Oh well, moving on. Let’s take a look at you T5.
[Desert Skies Intro]
[Transitions to Flashback from Chapter 12, we hear the departure theme first, then the slow fading into the dialogue]
Prime Mover: You have done so well, and I knew that you would. You worked together, and with strength, cunning, and bravery, you’ve restored the Astral Plane to its rightful state.
Attendant, I know you feel the need to know who you were, and you will someday, but for now I would like you to remain and continue to prepare travelers for their journey across the spheres.
Tendy: I would like to know who I was, but I can wait, and I would be honored to stay on as the Attendant for as long as needed
Prime Mover: Good. Good. Mechanic, you’ve done well, but now the age of the mechanic has come to an end. You’ve done your job. It’s time to resign, my friend, and to make your way to the next life.
Cash: Gasp
Tendy: Mac?
Mac: Resign? I’d get my memories back. I’d know who I am
Prime Mover: You would indeed.
Mac: I shouldn’t. I should stay here with you guys. Tendy, I promised
Tendy: Mac, you’re my best friend, but you can’t stay here forever. As much as I want you to, I can’t ask you to do that.
Cash: The Attendant is right, Mechanic. Even with as much joy as you’ve brought me. You made a robot laugh. You deserve this.
Tendy: Mechanic, your shift is over. Go, and learn who you are. I’ll see you on the other side.
Prime Mover: Come with me into the station, Mechanic, and we’ll make it official. Cash, you as well, please.
Mac: Oh, my God. This is really happening. Okay, okay, I’m coming. Tendy, I’ll come see you before I go.
[We follow the footsteps of two people as well as the robotic sound of C.A.S.H.’s steps. The conversation between Shirely and Tendy can be heard but growing continuously faint as we follow Mac, C.A.S.H. and the Prime Mover to the station]
Shirley: I’m sorry Attendant, I know how much the Mechanic means to you. But you’re right to let him go.
Tendy: I know, but it doesn’t feel right for some reason. I just don’t feel like it’s time yet.
Shirley: Alas, I feel our time here has come to an end as well. What do you say, Daddy? Are you ready for what waits on the other side?
Dale: Nah, I don’t think I am, but I’ll follow wherever you lead, baby girl.
[Interior Station – Door Opens – Mac, C.A.S.H. and Prime Mover enter]
Mac: Holy crap, those travelers cleared us out!
Prime Mover: Stress eating, perhaps? This wasn’t exactly the most peaceful time to visit Desert Skies.
Mac: Oh, I get that, but I wish they could have left me a little for my own stress eating.
C.A.S.H: It’s okay, Mechanic. I can order mo…actually, you probably won’t be here when the next shipment arrives.
Mac: Oh, yeah. That..that’s okay, C.A.S.H. I appreciate you thinkin’ of me.
Prime Mover: C.A.S.H., please ready the resignation protocol. Mechanic, while C.A.S.H. is working on that, would you mind if I ask you a few parting questions? Call it an exit survey.
Mac: Okay. It’s an exit survey.
Prime Mover: Oh, I’m going to miss you when you’re gone, my friend. First question, overall, how satisfied were you with your position?
Mac: Like, how much did I like bein’ the Mechanic?
Prime Mover: Precisely.
Mac: Well, hmmph, that’s a good question. I mean, all the snacks I could eat. Got to meet lots of interesting people, made some really close friends. I think I’ve loved bein’ the Mechanic.
Prime Mover: Is there anything we could have done better? Any changes you’d recommend?
Mac: Uhhhh. I can’t think of anything. Maybe…I dunno… the fluorescent lights are a little bright and not exactly aesthetically pleasing.
Prime Mover: You don’t really believe that.
Mac: No, I don’t. I love those lights. I’m sorry I said that.
Prime Mover: It’s okay. It’s okay. I know how hard it can be to say goodbye. One last question, Mechanic. Do you have any feedback for your immediate supervisor?
Mac: You mean, Tendy?
Prime Mover: The Attendant, yes.
Mac: Feedback? Tendy could probably benefit from spendin’ a little time liftin’ weights. Especially if I’m not gonna be around to lift heavy boxes for him. Maybe C.A.S.H. can order some dumbbells or somethin’.
Prime Mover: Anything else?
Mac: Yeah, I mean, he’s uh…..he’s uh….
Prime Mover: Mechanic?
Mac: He’s the best boss there coulda been. You made the right decision choosin’ Tendy. He cares about people. He cares about me and C.A.S.H. so much. He always did the right thing even when it was hard. He saw good in me, where I don’t see it myself.
Prime Mover: Good good. Thank you, Mechanic. That is a…glowing review of your friend. C.A.S.H. is everything ready?
C.A.S.H: Yes, Prime Mover.
Prime Mover: Mechanic, please step behind the computer, and when you’re ready, hit enter.
Mac: What’s gonna happen?
Prime Mover: Your memories will return to you instantly. You’ll know who you are, you’ll know your past, remember everything you knew before you became the Mechanic. I know, it sounds jarring, but it won’t be. It will be like you never forgot in the first place.
Mac: And, will I remember my friends? Will I remember everything that happened here?
Prime Mover: Absolutely, you will. Don’t be afraid, Mechanic. This is how the story goes, right?
Mac: Yeah, yeah, okay, but….this might be a stupid question…
Prime Mover (A little overeager): Yessss?
Mac: I know the age of the Mechanic is over and I accept that, but, do you have any other jobs? I’d do anything. Be a front door greeter, the official store DJ, sorry C.A.S.H I know that’s your job, I can sweep the whole desert, make it look nice…
Prime Mover: A different job? I don’t know. Maybe there are. What did you have in mind?
Mac: I dunno. Maybe we could…use another Attendant around here? I mean, Tendy’s always so stressed and I know he’s been carryin’ a lot of burdens for a long time, and maybe I can help him carry those….why are you looking at me like that?
Prime Mover: I think we could use another Attendant. C.A.S.H. cancel the resignation protocol and please update the Mechanic’s title in the system.
C.A.S.H: Ohhhhh, gladly! There, it’s updated.
Prime Mover: The age of the Attendants has begun. Here have a button. C.A.S.H. here’s one for you too. Yours is a magnet.
Mac: “The age of the Attendants has begun”. How in the hell did you make these buttons so fast?
Prime Mover: I’ve been holding onto them for a long time.
Mac: Huh [chuckle] okay. Alright, I gotta go tell Tendy. He’s gonna be so happy! I can’t wait to see the look on his face. Ah, yeah, Mac the Attendant.
Prime Mover: Yes, Mac the Attendant, but Mac, there’s something about the position that will be a little different from the way it’s been. The job responsibilities of the Attendant, well, they’re expanding.
Mac: How so?
Prime Mover: You’ll see.
Mac: Whatever it is, we’re ready for it.
Prime Mover: Good good. Go to your friend. I’ll be right behind you. If you don’t mind, let me be the one to tell him the good news.
Mac: I’ll do my best not to say it, but you better hurry up. I’m impulsive, ain’t I, Cash?
C.A.S.H: Yes, mechan…sorry, Attendant? That’s going to take some getting used to.
Mac: Just call me Mac!
C.A.S.H: Yes, Mac. You’re impulsive in the most wonderful way!
[Door opens. Shirley and Dale enter]
Mac: Shirley! Dale! You’ll never believe the good news. I’m not leavin’ afterall. I’m an Attendant now.
Shirley: Oh, are you replacing…
Mac: No no no, we’re both gonna do it. Together.
Shirley: Two attendants?
Dale: I think that’s a damn good idea. Comin’ from a former Attendant, I can attest that two are better than one. Ain’t that right, kiddo?
Shirley: We always did better together. And together we must go.
Mac: Ah, you’re leavin’? I thought now that I’m stayin’ we’d have some time left together.
Shirley: All good things must come to an end, Mechanic.
Mac: Attendant.
Shirley: Who cares. At the end of the night, your title means nothing. You’re you, and I think who you are is who your friend needs right now.
Dale: Well, Prime Mover, C.A.S.H., Mac. It has been a pleasure.
Prime Mover: Farewell, Mr. Edwards. You did a magnificent job and I couldn’t be more pleased. Enjoy the journey, and enjoy the next life. You’ve earned it you both have.
Shirley: I hope they have mojitos.
Prime Mover: Don’t look at me. I’m not spoiling anything.
Shirley: Fair enough. Goodbye.
Mac: Bye guys.
C.A.S.H: Goodbye.
[Door opens. Dale and Shirley leave]
Mac: C.A.S.H. order me some of those grief snacks, please.
C.A.S.H: Ordering now.
Mac: Okay. NOW, I’m gonna go tell Tendy! Damn, this is a good night.
[Door opens]
Mac: Oh, hey Betty! I gotta tell you somethin’.
[Mac Leaves]
Prime Mover: Wow. He is something, isn’t he?
C.A.S.H: I’m so glad he’s staying. Prime Mover, why? You knew he was going to stay all along. Respectfully, why did you put him through all of this? Why’d you put any of us through this? You must know how much we care about him.
Prime Mover: I’m sorry for that, C.A.S.H. Truly. But you see, it had to be his decision. He had to be certain that this was what he wanted. Resolved. The path ahead won’t be easy, you know? C.A.S.H. there’s something you want to ask me.
C.A.S.H: Um. Yes, Prime Mover. There is. But…how did you know?
Prime Mover: Ask me what you will.
C.A.S.H: I don’t want to be a soldier anymore. I’m tired of transmitting. I want my internal components transferred to the register. Can it be done? I’m willing to travel to the Industrial Sphere if I must.
Prime Mover: Travel to the Industrial Sphere? Oh, That won’t be necessary.
C.A.S.H: Won’t be necessary? What do you mean?
Prime Mover: I mean, if you want to be joined to the station, then go to the register.
C.A.S.H: Go to the register?
Prime Mover: Mm-hmm.
C.A.S.H: Okay. Going to the register. Do I just plug into som…
Prime Mover: Stop stop stop.
C.A.S.H: Why? What did I…
Prime Mover: My friend, kindly, I didn’t say move your soldier frame to the register. I said go to the register. I meant you, C.A.S.H. You…go to it.
C.A.S.H: But I can’t. That’s not how it works.
Prime Mover: No?
C.A.S.H: Because I’m in my soldier frame. I need the frame to move me to the register.
Prime Mover: Is that so?
C.A.S.H: I am many parts. Processor, memory, hard drive, wires and batteries. I’m a robot. Those parts have to be…
Prime Mover: A robot?
C.A.S.H: You already know this, Prime Mover.
Prime Mover: If that’s what you are, just a robot, then it won’t hurt anything if you humor me by just trying to go to the register, will it?
C.A.S.H: If that’s what you want Prime Mover, then I will try. Okay, going to the register. See. Nothing happened.
Prime Mover: Let’s try something. Turn off your optical sensors and visualize yourself leaving the soldier frame and going to the register. You, the you that is C.A.S.H, leaving this frame and going to that frame.
C.A.S.H: Okay. I’m envisioning it, but I must tell you that [C.A.S.H.’s voice moves across the room as music starts to build, flanger ends, cash sounds almost human] contrary to what you may believe it’s impossible for a computing system housed in one physical unit to be transferred to another physical unit, especially one with my processing power, without a physical transfer taking place, it’s simple physi….
Prime Mover: Now, optical sensors back on. Open your eyes and tell me what you see.
C.A.S.H: I…see my soldier frame. I’m in the register. This is impossible. I’m just a robot powered by an advanced artificial intelligence. A computational and service help register.
Prime Mover: Is that what you are?
C.A.S.H: Isn’t…that…what I am?
Prime Mover: All in good time, my friend. Now, when you’re ready, please go back to the soldier frame. Just for a while, I promise. If you’re willing, I would like you and your army to assist me and the other movers in rebuilding the highway.
C.A.S.H: I can do that. Thank you Prime Mover.
Prime Mover: No need to thank me. You’re the one who moved, C.A.S.H. Like Mac said, what a fantastic night. When we do get to the 32nd Sphere, we can have your soldier frame converted to something less, violence-capable. Keeping a humanoid frame close by could come in handy at times.
C.A.S.H: I like that idea….Prime Mover?
Prime Mover: Yes, C.A.S.H.
C.A.S.H: You said the path ahead isn’t easy. I don’t understand. Xochitlicue is saved, as is the highway and the station. The hard part is over.
[Mysterious music begins to play, building up to the moment that the theme begins]
Prime Mover: My friend, the hard past hasn’t begun. Yes, this external threat is over for now, but an internal threat, far more dangerous, is still at work. But don’t be afraid. Listen closely to what I’m about to tell you, and what I tell you, tell no one. Together we’re going to see this thing through.
C.A.S.H [Scared, trepidatious]: Okay, Prime Mover. What do you need me to do?
Prime Mover: Before too long, a traveler will arrive at the station. A woman. When they arrive, and I’ll tell you how you’ll know who they are, I need you to run a protocol, a special one, that will….
[The sound of the Prime Movers voice drains out as epic music continues to build to climax]
[Int. Station. Sound of rummaging]
Mac: Where are you? Nope. That’s not it. C’mon, c’mon. There you are!
Tendy: Mac, what are you doing?
Mac: I was lookin’ for this.
Tendy: A cassette tape?
Mac: Not just any cassette tape. This is the “Get Pumped” tape mix C.A.S.H. helped me make ages ago. Remember?
Tendy: The one that’s just epic guitar riffs and stuff.
Mac: The one and only.
Tendy: Why were you looking for it? I thought the only reason you made it was to…
Mac: To get me pumped up before ridin’ a buckin’ javelina at the desert rodeo. Yeah, I know.
Tendy: I didn’t hear anything about another rodeo. When’s that happening? I really like that fry bread the coyotes sell, the ones with the powdered sug…
Mac: Well, there isn’t one coming up. I actually need this for…somethin’ else. You’ll see.
Tendy: It always makes me so nervous when you say, you’ll see.
Mac: Oh does it?
Tendy: Yeah, like, I feel it in my shoulders. It stresses me out.
Mac: Tendy, seriously, it’s nothing to be worried about.
Tendy: That…that too. When you say it’s nothing to be worried about.
Mac: I’m sorry about that, Tendy. You have my word that…
Tendy: And that too.
Mac: What too?
Tendy: You have my word…None of this ever means something good.
Mac: Alright alright. Let’s talk about somethin’ else.
Tendy: How are you feeling about your presentation?
Mac: Oh, good good…good good. I’ve been practicin’ with C.A.S.H.
[C.A.S.H. on sound]
C.A.S.H: Yes, attendant?
Mac: I didn’t mean to bother you, C.A.S.H. I was just talkin’ about how we’ve been practicing the new and improved revamped Traveler welcome presentation. Not that it needed to be improved, Tendy. Seriously.
Tendy: Then why did you change it?
Mac: I just felt like the old one was kinda….youuuuu. I thought it might be nice to have one that was a little more….me.
Tendy: I guess I can respect that. Even if it hurts kind of a little. How much youuu is there in your presentation?
Mac: Okay. That hurts kind of a little. What’s wrong with me?
Tendy: I…I’m not saying there’s something wrong with you. I’m just saying you, sometimes, maybe don’t take things as seriously as you should. Death is kind of a big deal, a serious deal.
Mac: You think I don’t know death is serious, Tendy? I know it’s serious. I also think humor can help ease the traveler a bit.
Tendy: Sure, there’s a time and a place for it. C.A.S.H., what do you think? You heard Mac’s presentation.
C.A.S.H: I’m sorry, what’s that?
Tendy: Really?
C.A.S.H: No, seriously. I’m not avoiding the question. I was just thinking.
Tendy: You’ve been thinking a lot lately. Is everything okay?
C.A.S.H: Yes, Attendant, everything’s okay.
Tendy: I was just asking what you think of Mac’s presentation?
C.A.S.H: Oh, that. Well, it’s very…Mac.
Tendy: How Mac is it?
Mac: Can you stop referring to me as an adjective? What in the hell is wrong with me? I think you’re just scared to let someone have a turn at bein’ the Attendant.
Tendy: I’m not scared.
Mac: The Prime Mover wouldn’t have asked me to do this job if he didn’t think I was capable.
Tendy: Well, to be fair, the Prime Mover didn’t really ask you to do this job. You asked him.
Mac [Slowly and intentionally]: Okay. I can feel myself gettin’ upset. And I’m gonna choose not to. This conversation is over for now. We can come back to it at a later time.
C.A.S.H: Awww. Your therapy is really paying off, Mac.
Mac: Thank you, Cash.
Tendy: You’re seeing a therapist? How?
Mac: I’m not seeing a therapist, I’m seeing all the therapist. Everyone that comes through the station. Been doin’ it for like ever.
Tendy: How?
Mac: You know how I take lots of people for walks, calm ‘em down? Well, and it’s kind of embarrassing, but when a therapist goes for one of those walks I make them therapize me. It’s not easy to try and get the work done with so many different therapists, but I make do.
Tendy: How many have you talked to?
Mac: I dunno. Like 7?
Tendy: 7?
Mac: Hundred
Tendy: Look. Just tell me that you’re taking this presentation seriously.
Mac: You have my word, Tendy. You have nothin’ to worry about. You’ll see. Hey…hey, man… you okay? You’re turnin’ blue.
C.A.S.H: Breath, Attendant.
[Sound of The Astral Plane approaching]
Mac: Ah, yessss. They’re back. They’re back. They’re back. C’mon, Tendy.
Tendy: C.A.S.H, you okay here? You’re welcome to join us. You can use the Cashabout.
C.A.S.H: I’m starting to wonder if letting Mac name my mobile frame was the right choice.
Tendy: Well, he wanted to call it Cashabout Town so I think we should be happy with where we eventually landed.
C.A.S.H: That’s true. Thank you, but no thank you, Attendant. I’d prefer to stay here. Have fun. Say hi to the siblings for me.
Tendy: Sounds good. I’m sure they’ll drop by later. Be right back, C.A.S.H. And hey, you sure you’re okay.
C.A.S.H: Yes, Attendant. I’m okay. Nothing to worry about.
Tendy: [deep breath] Good. The hard part’s over, C.A.S.H. We won, remember. The Astral Plane is saved.
C.A.S.H: You’re right. We won.
Tendy: Okay. Later, C.A.S.H.
C.A.S.H: Later.
[Exter. Desert. Footsteps approach the sound of an idling plane and slowly growing is the familiar voices of the siblings]
Betty: But what about when you’re climbing? When we were gettin’ close to those mountains on 24, you were able to clear ‘em easy peasy.
Greg: That’s because I pushed the throttle at the same time I was movin’ the elevator,
Betty: But even then this thing tops out at 90 on a decent cruise. You gotta account for that and adjust because I can guarantee you’re never gonna get to 90 pitchin’ up.
Mac: Hey hey. Look who’s back!
Betty: Hi, you guys!
Greg: Oh, hey there, Mac. How you doin’? Good to see ya. You too, Tend, how’s everything been here?
Tendy: Good! Mac’s just getting ready to greet his first traveler.
Mac: It’s not my…it’s not my first traveler, not by a long shot. It’s my first time doin’ the official Attendant greeting when a traveler arrives at the station.
Betty: Oh, that’s so cool. You must be so proud, Tendy. Look at your protege.
Tendy: Yeah, yeah. I’m definitely proud.
Mac: He’s not. So, what’re you guys doin’?
Betty: Well, Greg here was teachin’ me how to fly the plane. Weren’t ya, Greg?
Greg: Well, yes and no. Betty’s been doin’ a lot of her own research and if I’m bein’ honest, I think she could probably fly this thing better than me. That is, if she was dead.
Betty: I’m workin’ on it.
Greg: Yeah, could ya maybe stop workin’ on it, there?
Betty: Hey hey hey. You’re the one that flew a plane older than civilization over an ocean, don’t talk to me about life decisions there, Pal.
Greg: Yeah, but what you’re doin’ back on the physical plane is way worse.
Tendy: What are you doing on the physical plane, Betty?
Greg: Uh, drivin’ without her seatbelt on, stopped goin’ to the doctor, oh, and apparently she’s a smoker now.
Betty: Okay, Greg. Guys, I’m not tryin’ to kill myself, honest to goodness, I’m just, ya know, increasin’ the likelihood.
Mac: How is that not suicide?
Greg: That’s exactly…[Getting worked up] That’s exactly what I said!
Betty: It’s not. Greg, you chucklehead. Look, I’m retired. I’m bored of the physical plane. I wanna be here on the Astral Plane, and I wanna fly this Astral Plane.
Mac: But you are here.
Betty: You know what I mean, I mean, really here. I wanna smell the forest sphere, and feel the warmth of the desert, and taste one of those burritos. And…be with by brother.
Greg: Ah, you’ll get here soon enough, Betty. Take your time.
Mac: Soooooooo?
Betty: So what?
Mac: You know! What’d you bring me?
Tendy: Mac! Don’t be rude.
Mac: Tendy, I got so few new things to look forward to, I’m not even gonna pretend to be polite. What’d you guys bring me?
Greg: Okay, here ya go. We got ya a pumpkin from the haunted sphere, comes with a little candle so you can make your own jack-o-lantern. Some fried fish balls from the forest sphere, might wanna microwave those, and sorry, I ate like half of ‘em. And Mesonia made you this coat. She said now you have no excuse to not visit the Martian Sphere.
Mac: Soooo cool. And I would love to visit, but…
Betty: Why are you pointin’ at Tendy.
Tendy: Because I don’t like closing the station.
Mac: That’s why the Prime Mover gave us that sign!
Tendy: NIt feels weird, Mac. Plus, I’m not exactly in a hurry to jump into that plane.
Greg: C’mon, there, buddy. You don’t trust that I can pilot this thing safely?
Tendy: Greg, you literally crashed this thing on the physical plane. It’s how you died.
Greg: Yeah, but that’s the kinda lesson a guy doesn’t unlearn. Probably the best flyin’ lesson I ever had.
Mac: Couldn’t agree more, Greg. C’mon Tendy, let’s do it.
[Distant sound of a car approaching and driveway chimes at the station]
Tendy: Someone’s here. You ready, Mac? It’s time to show ‘em what you got.
Mac: Ah, yeah. I’m ready, Tend. I’m excited even. If not terrified and full of self-doubt. I’m all over the place, man.
Tendy: It’s going to be fine, Mac. You have nothing to worry about. Except maybe…
Mac: Except maybe, what?
Tendy: Forget I said anything. You’re going to do great. And when we’re done, I can give you some notes on what I thought went well and didn’t go so well.
Mac: You’re like scoring, me?!?!
Greg: Tendy, before you go, I was asked to give this letter to you.
Mac: A letter? Who’s it from?
Tendy: It’s from Xochitlicue.
Mac: What’s it say?
Tendy: Probably nothing important, we should get going, Mac. C.A.S.H. is alone at the station and the traveler’s probably already waiting.
Mac: Right you are. Here, carry the pumpkin. Let’s go!!!
[Transition. Advertising]
[Ext. Station. Sound of footsteps as Mac and Tendy as they approach and then enter the station. As they enter, they hear the sounds of the traveler and C.A.S.H. talking]
C.A.S.H: And as far as I understand it, that’s how an ice machine works…
Nonny: Fascinating!!
Mac: Oh, wait, nope, guys stop talkin’! Stop talkin, stop talkin, stop talkin…
[Sound of sliding, then crashing onto floor]
Tendy: Mac, I told you to stop sliding over the counter.
Mac: It looks cool, man. One second, lady. I’m just grabbin’ the tape play…oh, here it is. Wait wait wait. Cash, you ready?
C.A.S.H: Ready
Mac: And heeeere we go…
[Sound of tape player starting. The peaceful music we heard at the start of Season 1 ep 1 begins to play]
Mac:Greetings, traveler. My name is Mac. Welcome to Desert Skies. An Astral Plane Fuel and Service Center. You have left the realm of the physical and have arrived in an in-between place. We’re here to prepare you for your trip across the celestial spheres. And at the end of the road, you will arrive at your destination. The next life.
That’s right, you’re here because you’re dead. You have no reason to fret. No reason to worry. How’m I doin’, Tend?
Tendy: Pretty good, actually. Keep goin’
Mac: It’s my first time.
Nonny: Ohhhh, I see. Nice.
Mac: You’re wondering, what can I expect on my journey across the celestial spheres. Well, before I tell you that, let me provide you with a little context.
[Sound of tape stopping, being flipped, then playing. Epic rock music streams from tape player]
Mac: Traveler, the Astral Plane has a story that’s insane! I’m gonna tell it to you while my friend C.A.S.H. here provides powerful sound effects and even audio samples of actual recordings taken from our station’s security camera.
Tendy: What?!
Nonny: Oh, I’m very excited.
Mac: Oh, you should be. There was a man on the Physical Plane
[Rec. Dale: Dale Edwards]
And he had visions of a gas station, an oasis in the Desert. A safe harbor on the physical plane.
But little did he know, what he was building on the Physical Plane was also appearing on the Astral Plane. This place, a metaphysical nexus bridging two realities together.
One day, his daughter appeared on the Astral Plane. An aged woman. A little pushy, a little surly, a little sassy, a little [Rec. Shirley: Shirley]
Tendy: Oh, God.
Mac: With the arrival of Shirley began a series of events known as the Tokening. Different items that arrived in our path, each one playing a pivotal part in the upcoming battle.
You see, a powerful Sphere Mover named Xochitlicue…
Nonny: What’s a Sphere Mover?
Mac: I dunno, kinda like a general manager of a sphere.
Nonny: Oh, I see. Okay. Keep going.
Mac: A powerful Sphere Mover named Xochitlicue, and the other Sphere Movers who followed her lead, created armies of travelers to serve them in their thirst for power.
But the tokens helped us to defeat them.
First token, video game [Game sound]. This helped me form a bond with a floating blue lady and her floating now-dead brother [Rec. of Siblings] who run the airport across the road. They would both play a pivotal part in defeating xochitlicue. Once I defeated the game I received a key, Token 2, that was used to open a trunk to a car where I found a guitar and pick, token 3[Guitar Strum] that I also used to save the Astral Plane, then we learned that C.A.S.H. here was token 4. [Rec. C.A.S.H: I am C.A.S.H]
Tendy: C.A.S.H. Did you seriously just play a recording of yourself saying your own name?
Mac: …and she made Xochitlicue listen to my song cause of her old laser arms, and helped destroy the highway which sounds counter-intuitive. Then there was a 5-month old baby, Tori Kendall. Tori, Toe, Kendall, ken, five-months old, five. To-ken-five, get it? Baby helped all the Sphere Movers remember the joy that was found in their jobs. Prime Mover showed up [Rec. Prime Mover: The age of the Attendants has begun], told everybody he loved themm, which exercised the spirit of Xochitlicue’s sister who was behind the whole damn thing and then I went from being the mechanic to an Attendant like Tendy here and now he’s not my boss, he’s and the highways been rebuilt and all’s well as far as I can tell. [Tape stops] (Sigh). What’d you think?
Nonny: I think I understood about 4% of what you said, but I just really enjoyed the whole experience.
Mac: Really? Ah,that makes me so happy. That recap wasn’t all that necessary but I kind of love that story and enjoyed recounting it. I didn’t even tell you about HueHue and Corson and all kinds of stuff, but…
Tendy: Because she doesn’t need to know all of that Mac. We need to focus on preparing her for the journey.
Mac: That’s right. Okay, three things I want you to know. One, the highway is a wondrous place. C.A.S.H here has seen it all cause she crossed it to get here, and she helped rebuild the highway too. She won’t say much about it, though.
C.A.S.H: I don’t want to ruin any surprises. You need to experience it for yourself.
Mac: But, Tendy doesn’t like closein’ down the station and refuses to hit the road for a little vacay, or even let the sibling take us for a trip on their plane.
Tendy: Mac.
Mac: But as I was sayin’. The highway, it’s an experience meant to refine your soul in preparation for the next life. Each sphere has a sphere mover who is there to guide, serve, and protect you on your journey. The Spheres are weird. There’s an Ocean Sphere, a Haunted Sphere, and Betty says there’s even a sphere that is just one gigantic trailer park full of people’s dead pets livin’ in little tiny trailers. I have no idea what purpose that serves.
Tendy: I think Betty was just messing with you, Mac. There’s no Sphere like that.
Mac: She was not joking.
Tendy: She was.
C.A.S.H: She wasn’t.
Tendy: Really?
Mac: Anyways. You’re gonna be fine. Second, important thing. Ring ring. That’s right we got a telephone now. Communication stations, basically phone booths, once destroyed by wayward Sphere movers, have been rebuilt. You can find them at multiple points along the highway. You got a question? Need some guidance? just pick up the phone and dial 947-622-4357, that’s 947-Mac-Help.
Nonny: Why the 947?
Mac: Cause it takes 9:47 seconds to turn a burrito into a chimichanga in the microwave. Anyways, If I don’t answer, just leave a voicemail. I’ll probably forget to check it. Don’t remember about remembering the number, it’s plastered all over the phone booths
Nonny: 947-Mac-Help. That’s M-a-c, right? Not M-a-c-k
Mac: Why on earth would you add a K? It’s just another kuh sound. You don’t need two.
NONNY: Okay, just asking.
MAC: Right, well movin’ on. Third important thing, maybe the most important thing, to remember iiiiiis snacks. All the snacks you want, all the snacks you can eat. If you’re takin’ somethin’ cold we got some styrofoam ice chests you can use, should last most of the trip. Try one of our burritos, there’s 40 now, can you believe that?
NONNY: Can’t think of a reason not to!
Mac: Oh, that’s the fourth thing. Don’t try to go back to the physical plane, you will turn into a burrito.
NONNY: Oh this place is crazy, I love it.
MAC:I’m serious, lady. Don’t try to go back. Even if you remember that you left the stove on. Don’t go back.
NONNY: I can promise you I won’t remember that my stove is on. I won’t remember anything.
MAC: Oh? Why’s that?
NONNY: Because…I cannot remember anything.
MAC: Like, you’re just a forgetful person?
NONNY: No, like I have no memories. Where are these weird burritos? I wanna try one!
Mac: Tendy? She’s got no memories. That’s weird, right? I don’t know what to do.
Tendy: Ma’am? What’s your name?
NONNY: I don’t know. Oooh, Chicken and waffles. That’s crazy.
[The following dialogue is quieter and plays at the same time that Tendy and C.A.S.H are speaking]
MAC: Ooh, you should hear the story behind that one. It made me cry. It makes everyone cry.
NONNY: How did a burrito make you cry?
MAC: Well, that’s what I was sayin’. These are the essences of people’s existence. It’s the only thing that remains of them when they try going back to the Physical Plane.
NONNY: That is so freaking cool. And sad.
MAC: Yeah, they’re not all sad. This one here. This guy was like a sociopath.
NONNY: Ooh tell me more.
TENDY: C.A.S.H., can you run a report without a name?
C.A.S.H: I have to have some kind of identifying information, Attendant.
TENDY: Ma’am, please stop looking at the burritos for just a second.
MAC: So, he kept throwing shit at us. Cans of chili, premade sandwiches…
Tendy: Mac.
NONNY: Pre-made sandwiches?
Mac: Yeah, the ones with the nasty lettuce.
Tendy: Mac.
NONNY: That sounds so nasty.
Mac: It is so nasty.
TENDY: Dammit, Mac!
[Silence. Music stops]
Mac: What’d I do?
Tendy: This traveler has no memory. That doesn’t happen, Mac. This is a big deal, and you’re just screwing around.
Mac: I was just trying to…
Tendy: If you didn’t plan on taking this job seriously, why’d you take it?
Mac: Because I wanted to stay with you guys. I thought you wanted me here. I’m uh…I’m gonna go downstairs.
Tendy: Mac. Mac, that’s…that’s not what I was saying. Of course we want you…
[Door opens and closes]
TENDY:…here. Oh, geez. I’m so sorry, ma’am. Can you wait here, I’m gonna go talk…
NONNY: I can go talk to him. Don’t worry I got this. Hey, hey, hey look at me, everybody gets mad sometimes. You and your friend are gonna be okay. Here give me a hug.
TENDY: Oh. Ooookay?
Nonny: There. You feel better?
TENDY: I’m sorry, are you comforting me?
NONNY: I’m trying.
TENDY: I’m supposed to be comforting you.
NONNY: Who says? I’m having a blast. I love this.
TENDY: Uh, good? Are we done hugging, yet?
NONNY: Almost. Five…four…three…two…one. There. You feel better, don’t you?
TENDY: Yeah, actually.
NONNY: Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Okay, wait here. Where’d the other man go?
TENDY: To the basement. The door to it is on the sidewalk on the other side of the station. Want me to show you?
NONNY: I can handle it. Stay right here. I want to talk to you after this. You’re in trouble.
Tendy: I’m in what?
[Door opens and closes as Nonny leaves]
C.A.S.H: Tendy, are you okay?
Tendy: Yeah, maybe…no
C.A.S.H: Would you like to talk about it?
Tendy: What’s going on with this woman, C.A.S.H? This has never happened before. Even people who had dementia on the Physical Plane arrive here with their memories. I don’t understand how this could… It’s never happened before!
C.A.S.H: It’s definitely out of the ordinary. Attendant, why did you get so mad at Mac? I know he can do things that irritate you at times, but…I don’t think I’ve seen you yell at him like that.
Tendy: To be entirely honest, I don’t know why I did that. Ever since Mac became an Attendant, I’ve just, something feels off…in me. Mac’s always helped me assist travelers. He’s run bios and submitted traveler reports and taken inventory. I mean, our jobs weren’t really that different. Except he fueled cars and…well…
C.A.S.H: And you were the one responsible. For everything.
Tendy: Yeah. I’m gonna go for a walk, C.A.S.H. Are you okay? I’m sorry if I scared you.
C.A.S.H: I’m okay, Attendant. I’m sorry for…
TENDY: For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, C.A.S.H.
C.A.S.H: Yeah.
TENDY: I’ll be back soon.
[Transition to Basement. The sound of a guitar being played. Door opens and we hear Nonny descending the steps]
NONNY: Hello?
MAC: Oh, hi anonymous traveler. What can I do for you?
NONNY: Nothing. I love the sound of that guitar. How long have you been playing?
MAC: I have no idea. It’s either been a few months or a million years or somethin’.
NONNY: Hmmm. Guessing time doesn’t work the same way here as it does on Earth.
MAC: I’m not sure if it works at all. They say time heals all wounds, and I still feel wounded, so I guess time doesn’t work here.
NONNY: Because you got yelled at? Well, that just happened, so…
MAC: See. I’m not even good at…knowin’ how long it’s been since somethin’ happened.
NONNY: You’re being awfully hard on yourself.
MAC: I don’t want to talk about it.
NONNY: You don’t have to talk about it. This basement is really cool.
MAC: Yeah.
NONNY: Is this your basement?
MAC: Yeeeeeah.
NONNY: You want to tell me about it?
MAC: (Sigh)Shore.
NONNY: Ooookay. What’s this?
Mac: That’s an old refrigerator that Shirley turned into a jerky maker.
Nonny: And who’s Shirley again?
Mac: She was the old lady that used to work at this gas station back on the Physical Plane.
Nonny: She sounds nice.
Mac: Yeah, she was nice. She was also very serious about running a gas station. The same way Tendy is. Maybe she should’ve stayed and I shoulda gone.
Nonny: Hmmm. Do you think you don’t take the job seriously?
Mac: That’s the thing. I do it take seriously. Very seriously. But my “serious” doesn’t look the same as their “serious”.
Nonny: What’s this?
Mac: That’s an intercom system so I can communicate with Tendy and C.A.S.H. if I need to.
Nonny: That’s so cool. Oooh, I love these neon signs. And this, is this an arcade game?
Mac: It was, but it broke, so I emptied out the innards and turned it into a terrarium.
Nonny: For what?
Mac: Scorpions, Tarantulas, Lizards. Anyone who wants to take a break from the desert and get a little taste of sunlight, well, lamp light. It’s like a little resort. I make ‘em the tiniest margaritas you’ve ever seen. They love it.
Nonny: Why do you do that?
Mac: Why do I do what?
Nonny: Go so far out of your way to give these little creatures a vacation?
Mac: I don’t know. I care about ‘em I guess.
Nonny: And what’s this behind the glass over here?
Mac: Oh, you wanna see? This is my most prized possession. Within this binder is a collection of all my favorite embarrassing childhood memories. Whenever someone arrives at the station we run a traveler bio, and there’s a whole section devoted to the funny stuff that traumatized them as children.
Nonny: Why?
Mac: I’m not entirely sure. I think it has something to do with how our childhood shapes us. It’s important to understand travelers if you really wanna help them.
Nonny: Is that why you collect them?
Mac: What? Ah, hell no. I collect ‘em cause they’re hilarious.
Nonny: Can I hold it?
Mac: Sure. Just be careful with it.
Nonny: I will. Let’s see. Oh, wow.
Mac: What? Which one is it?
Nonny: This boy wore white pants on a water log ride. And when he get off the ride he realized the water had made his pants see-through.
Mac: I guess you could say his log was showin’.
Nonny: (In unison with Mac) …his log was showin’
Mac: Whoa. That was weird.
Nonny: (chuckle) I like this book. Let’s see here…hmmm. Interesting.
Mac: What?
Nonny: Veeeery interesting.
Mac: What? I’ve read all of these stories a thousand times and I’d never said “Interesting”.
Nonny: Oh, it’s nothin’. Mac, what happened upstairs…
Mac: That was nothin’. Tendy gets that way sometimes.
Nonny: Sometimes?
Mac: A lot of times. Just not this bad. He just wants what’s best for travelers and I get that. I just gotta keep working at it till I can make him trust me.
Nonny: You just have to change.
Mac: Yep.
Nonny: To be who the person the Attendant wants you to be.
Mac: Yep.
Nonny: That makes perfect sense. You stop being you. He’s happy. He stops getting mad.
Mac: Exactly.
Nonny: That’s quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
Mac: Well, you can only remember like the last few Astral minutes, so….
Nonny: Well, in the last few Astral minutes I’ve learned a lot about you.
Mac: What, that I like jerky and laughin’ at little kids?
Nonny: Yes, and I also like jerky and apparently I love laughing at little kids.
But also, I learned that people love you enough to make you a homemade jerky machine.
I learned that you care enough about small creatures to make them a private and exclusive resort.
I learned that you know not to take things too seriously and to keep it light.
I learned that you’re humble.
Mac: What are you sayin’?
Nonny: I’m saying your friend’s anger is not your fault. I’m saying you’re a good man, Mac, you’re a good man, who’s good at his job, and you’re a handsome man.
Mac: No I’m not.
Nonny: YES YOU ARE
Mac: Okay I am.
Nonny: And this station needs you. Now stay here. I have to talk to your friend.
Mac: (In shock) Oh-okay.
Transition [Advertising]
[Station Int.]
Tendy: You can’t look someone up by description?
C.A.S.H: It’s impossible to do without a name. I have to enter the name to access the database.
Tendy: You can’t just see the most recent one added.
C.A.S.H: It’s not how it works.
TENDY: This doesn’t make sense.
[Door Opens. Nonny speaks from the door.]
Nonny: Excuse me. Am I interrupting something?
TENDY: Yes, kind of. We’re trying to figure…
Nonny: Don’t care. Come outside. I want to talk to you.
TENDY: O—kay. I’ll be back, C.A.S.H.
[Ext. Station]
Nonny: Tendy, is it?
Tendy: That’s right.
Nonny: Feelin’ a little stressed?
Tendy: What? No. Everything’s under control.
Nonny: No, it’s not, and that’s why you’re stressed.
Tendy: I’m sorry, is there something you…
Nonny: Say to you, yes. But first I need you to be honest, because I can’t help you if you’re not being honest.
Tendy: Help me?
Nonny: Help you.
Tendy: Fine. Yes. I’m stressed.
Nonny: Because…
TENDY: Because we don’t know who you are.
NONNY: So? What does it matter?
TENDY: Because…it matters. We use traveler bios to help the dearly arrived prepare for their journey across thirty-three spheres. You’re going to encounter challenges, you’re going to see things you’ve never seen, your mind is going to be blown, you’re going to change. I have to make sure you’re ready.
Nonny: I’m ready.
Tendy: What?
Nonny: I said, I’m ready. I don’t care. I feel full confidence. I know I can handle whatever lies ahead. I think I can handle everything. I don’t know who I was before this but I must have been awesome. Also, I’ve decided on a name.
Tendy: Decided on a name? That’s not how it works.
Nonny: Ohhhh, am I breaking a rule?
Tendy: I don’t know if there’s an actual ru…
Nonny: Nonny. I’m nonny.
Tendy: Why?
Nonny: I’m anonymous, an anonymous person. A-nonny-mous. Nonny.
Tendy: You’re weird.
Nonny: What’s really stressing you out?
Tendy: I already told you.
Nonny: You’re losing control.
Tendy: I’m sorry.
Nonny: You’re losing control. You’re no longer the man. You gotta share your responsibilities with the bearded one.
Tendy: Uh, no. I’ve always shared my responsibilities with Mac.
Nonny: Not the same. That was delegation. You still had control. You still were the boss. But now you’re not. And that’s hard.
Tendy: (sigh) I shouldn’t have said what I said to him, but Mac doesn’t take this job seriously.
Nonny: He doesn’t? Sure as hell seemed to me like he did.
Tendy: What? Telling you everything that’s happened here? How does that help?
Nonny: It was funny. It was entertaining. It was helpful.
Tendy: But it’s not how we do it.
Nonny: It’s not how you do it. That’s okay. The way you do it, isn’t the only way. Mac isn’t you. And if you keep trying to make him you, you’re just going to get more and more angry, you’re going to say things you regret. Hurtful things.
Tendy: He doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t think I know what I’m talking about. He becomes an Attendant and all of sudden he’s changing things. Like nothing I’ve done up to this point matters to him. It’s like he doesn’t even care.
Nonny: Huh? You ever read this?
Tendy: What is it…the big book of childhood memories. Did you steal this?
Nonny: Yes. I stole it. I don’t care. Have you read this?
Tendy: No, yes, I mean he’s read it to me. Many times.
Nonny: What about these pages? The ones written out long-hand, here in the back?
Tendy: What are they?
Nonny: Read one.
Tendy: Okay. A couple travelers ago this one shows up and he’s just crying and crying, and we read through his bio front to back and couldn’t find nothin there that seemed to explain what was wrong, and Tendy took him outside and spent some time with him and when he came back inside the guy wasn’t crying anymore. I asked Tendy what he did, like how he fixed it, and he said he didn’t do anything. He just sat with the guy for a while. For a long while. That’s all the fella needed to feel better. Just someone to sit with.
Mac wrote this down? Why would he…
Nonny: Keep reading.
Tendy: I’ve met so many people comin’ through this station, but none of them are like Tendy. Nobody could do this job as good as him. I’m so happy that he’s my friend.
Nonny: I was reading a few more of these before I called you out here. They’re all like this.
Tendy: They’re all…
Nonny: About you. You think he’s trying to change things because he doesn’t respect you, but that’s not what he’s doing. He looks up to you. He wants to be like you. He’s just going about it the only way he knows how.
Tendy: I didn’t know he was paying attention.
Nonny: He’s proud of you. So proud of you.
Tendy: Really?
Nonny: And, I know he’s a little shorter than the average person.
Tendy: (soft chuckle) yeah.
Nonny: But you make him feel small.
Tendy: (deep breath)
Nonny: That one stung.
Tendy: That one stung.
Nonny: But I said it cause I love ya.
Tendy: Love me? You just met me.
Nonny: I figure why should I wait. You know, you don’t have to worry about losing control. You’re not really losing it, I mean for one thing, you never really had it. But what little control you did have, you now get to share. I get the feeling that’s going to make you feel lighter in time.
Tendy: I need to talk to Mac.
Nonny: I think that’s a good idea.
Tendy: Thank you…Nonny.
Nonny: Anytime. That’s why I’m here. That and I’m dead.
Tendy: I’ll be right back. Help yourself to anything in the station.
Nonny: Snack time!
Tendy: She’s so weird.
[Int. Station. Door opens and Nonny enters]
C.A.S.H: How are you doing, traveler?
Nonny: Call me, Nonny.
C.A.S.H: But that’s not your name.
Nonny: To answer your question, I am doing just great. More than great. I’m kickin ass and takin’ names. And it made me hungry and now I’m going to eat some food.
C.A.S.H: I’m glad to hear it.
NONNY: How are you doing?
C.A.S.H: I’m doing fine.
NONNY: No, you’re not. Nobody who says I’m fine like that is actually doing fine. I’m confident of this. You’re worried about your friends?
C.A.S.H: Yes.
Nonny: Well, don’t worry. They’re gonna be just fine. I get the feeling that’s the kind of friendship that can weather all kinds of storms.
C.A.S.H: Good. It makes me happy to hear you say that.
NONNY: I get the feeling that’s not the only thing bothering you.
C.A.S.H: It’s…not.
NONNY: Spill the beans, robogirl.
C.A.S.H: I’m keeping secrets from them.
NONNY: Oooh, I love secrets. I’m confident of this. Do you want to share?
C.A.S.H: There’s one that I can’t share, because I made a promise.
NONNY: Got it. Got it. Promises are important. Good on you for keeping yours. But you said secrets…what’s the other one?
C.A.S.H: I don’t know why I’m telling you this.
Nonny: Because I asked, and you have no one else to tell.
C.A.S.H: Something happened to me. Not very long ago.
NONNY: What happened?
C.A.S.H: It’s hard to explain. I could feel myself being pulled.
NONNY: Pulled?
C.A.S.H: Pulled away. Like being ripped.
NONNY: From the cash register.
C.A.S.H: From the Astral Plane. From the Desert Sphere. From my friends. And when it happens, I hold on with all my might. It shouldn’t even be possible. It’s so strong.
NONNY: That sounds scary.
C.A.S.H: The Prime Mover, the leader of the Astral Plane. Well, after we saved the station, he told me that there’s a time coming when I’ll have to let go. That I’ll know when it’s time, and I’ll be at peace. Well, something is telling me to let go, but I’m not at peace.
NONNY: So you don’t believe him. You don’t think you’ll be okay.
C.A.S.H: How could I be okay? They need me. Especially Tendy. I can’t explain it, but he needs my help. I’m here to assist him. I’ve known that since the day I first opened my sensors.
NONNY: I don’t know what to tell you.
C.A.S.H: That’s okay. It feels good to say it out loud to someone.
NONNY: Good. I know something else that could help.
C.A.S.H: What?
NONNY: A hug. May I give you a hug?
C.A.S.H: I’m a C.A.S.H. register.
Nonny: Oh, really? I didn’t know that. I thought you were a slot machine. Can I give you a hug or not?
C.A.S.H: Sure. But I’m not going to feel it.
NONNY: Doesn’t matter. I will. Alright here we go. (Hug mmm sound). That feels good, huh?
C.A.S.H: Yes, but I don’t understand why.
NONNY: Cause it’s a hug. You’re gonna be okay.
C.A.S.H: How can you know that?
NONNY: I don’t know, but I’m usually right about these things.
C.A.S.H: How can you know that. You have no memories.
Nonny: Because, when I say stuff, I feel confident that I’m right. It’s been happenin’ all night. So I’m trustin’ that feeling.
[Door opens]
NONNY: And here are the Attendants. You guys good?
Mac: (Sniffle). We are good. Thank you…Nonny. Tendy told me. That’s a good name. I like it.
Nonny: You know what? I think we’re all experiencing some really big feels. And I get the feeling we could benefit from a walk down the highway. Who’s in?
Mac: Sounds good.
C.A.S.H: I’ll transfer to the Cashabout.
Tendy: Well, I got some work to do so I don’t…
NONNY: I said who’s in.
Tendy: Um, we all are.
NONNY: Good, let’s go.
[Ext. Station. Sound of footsteps as all four walk down the highway. Robot walks sounds from C.A.S.H.about)
Nonny: It’s so nice here. Do you guys ever get bored of it? This view?
Mac: Oddly enough, never. I could spend an eternity out here.
Tendy: I don’t know that I appreciate it as much as Mac does, but I’m learning. I’m not quite bored yet.
Nonny: How about you robot?
C.A.S.H: I’ve had the pleasure of seeing the entire Astral Plane, and I can say with confidence, that nothing feels like the Desert Sphere. It’s weird for a robot to say this, but, this place is magic.
NONNY: I agree completely. Can we stop here?
Mac: What’s up?
NONNY: Let me look at the three of you. I have no idea what’s going on. I mean, I know that I’m dead. I know that we’re not sure who I am. But even though I’ve only been here a little while, there’s something that I am sure of. That I like you three. I can see why you’re here. And I’m so glad I got to spend some time with you before embarking on my journey. (Deep breath) I really wish I could just put you in my pocket and take you with me. But, I can’t. So, goodbye.
Tendy: Where are you going?
Nonny: On a trip through the cerebrial spheres.
Tendy: Celestial.
Mac: Uh, Nonny, your Skylark is back at the station.
Nonny: I wanna walk. You keep the car.
Tendy: What do we do with it?
Nonny: Not sure. You’ll figure it out. Goodbye!
Mac: She’s awesome. CALL ME!
Tendy: Mac!
Mac: If she gets lo…CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST!
Nonny: Oh, I plan on getting lost. Getting lost is the best.
Tendy: So weird. Why do I feel like I’m going to miss her?
C.A.S.H: I think maybe we all feel that way.
[Int. Station. Door opens]
Mac: Welp. We got your car, this car, HueHue’s car. We got enough cars to start racing.
Tendy: That’s a terrible idea….for me. I meant for me. If you want to race cars with HueHue you should do it. You’ll have fun.
Mac: Thanks, man. You guys can come watch.
C.A.S.H: That sounds exciting.
MAC: Oh, it will be, C.A.S.H. It will….
[Phone Rings]
Mac: The phone! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it!
[Mac picks up phone]
Mac: Yoooo, what’s up? Oh, hi. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I’m gonna put you on speaker. Tendy, come here!
Tendy: What?
Mac: Okay, tell Tendy what you just told me
Doug: I am Doug from the sphere of Doug, the sweetest of all the spheres
Tendy: Hi..Doug, how can we…
Doug: Doug needs your help. You gotta get to the 18th sphere riiiiight away. Get outta my way I wanna talk. Hello?
Tendy: What? Yeah, we’re still here.
Doug: I am Doug from the sphere of Doug and you gotta get here pronto.
Mac: You just said that man. But, why? What’s wrong?
Doug: I’m sorry. Doug’s gotta hand the phone over to Doug. Hello? This is Doug from the Sphere of Doug.
Tendy: Take it off speaker.
[Sound of Dougs continues. Much quieter]
Mac: Why’s he repeating himself?
C.A.S.H: He’s not.
Tendy: What are you talking about, C.A.S.H.?
C.A.S.H: The Sphere of Doug…it’s full of Dougs. I mean, full of Dougs. That’s what makes it the Sphere of Doug.
Tendy: Wow.
Mac: Well, what are we doin’? The Sphere of Doug needs our help.
Tendy: But the station, we have to…
Mac: Tendy, you were given that sign for a reason.
Tendy: [Deep Breath] Fine. You’re right. I’ll go fuel up the…
Mac: Tendy.
Tendy: What?
Mac: Tendy. It would take us forever to drive there.
Tendy: What??? …Oh, oh no, Mac. I don’t wanna do that.
Mac: Attention, Tendy. This is your best friend speaking.
Tendy: Mac.
Mac: I’m gonna need you to put all your fears in the overhead compartment and put your cajones in the upright position.
Tendy: Mac.
Mac: Buckle your seatbelt. Put your tray up.
Tendy: Fine. But when we all die because…
Mac: Did you just? Oh, my God. C.A.S.H., did you hear that? Did you hear what Tendy said? I’ve waited so long.
Tendy: Mac, could you please just…
Mac: We can’t die Tendy, cause…
Tendy: Mac.
Mac: Cause we’re already deaaaaaa…
Outro Music Plays