(Transcripts may vary slightly from the published recording, because, you know, improvising. Also, grammar and punctuation may be imperfect…because…umm…Astral Plane.)
Corson: Mechanic! Weapons, what have we got? You’ve got a dozen or more rebel sphere movers headed this way and they’re not happy.
Mac: A dozen sphere movers?
Shirley: But first, Shack juice, Mechanic. Please, now.
Dale: Prime mover first, Shirl. Priorities.
HueHue: Barks.
Lightning intensifies
Corson: Mechanic, are you paying attention?
Mac: I…I, uh.
Shirley: Please, Mechanic. Daddy…
Mac: But I just…
HueHue: Barks
Sound of Mac punching something metal. Voices become silent.
Tendy: Mac?
Mac: Look at that. Somethin’s wrong with the coffee machine. I better fix this. Excuse me. Ope, excuse me. Watch your feet. (Singing) The attendant has a first name it’s TENDY. The attendant has….
Door Opens and Closes
Mac:…a second name, but it can’t be revealed to us for reasons I don’t understand but that’s fine, and what in the hell am I doing?
Drops Broken Coffee Machine
My friends need me, and here I am…
Sound of Multiple Coyotes Howling As They Approach Mac
Mac: Miss Florence! Corky! What are you two doin’ here and what are you howling for?
Mac: A light? In the sky? Above the highway? I better take a look. Lead the way furry friends!
Sound of Mac running through the mud
As he runs we begin to hear the scientific ethereal sound from Chapter 6
As we get closer we can here a voice distant
Betty: I can’t believe you left me alone, Greg! Oh, you make me so mad! What am I supposed to do now?
Mac: Hey! It’s you!
Betty: Oh hey, Mechanic! Gosh, it’s good to see ya.
Mac: I was hopin’ you’d come back. Where’s Greg? Was he not able to get his Astral Projection on?
Betty: Greg? Oh, yeah. Well, I’m lookin’ for him, but so far, no luck. He, well, flew off and left me.
Mac: Well, that’s not cool!
Betty: No, it’s not cool. Not cool at all. Mechanic, you’re soaking!
Mac: Yeah, I better get inside. When my beard gets wet, it gets reeeeaaal heavy and my neck starts to hurt.
Betty: Ah, you poor guy.
Mac: Hey, you should come back to the station with me. I got this really cool basement setup now and I think you’ll like it. Hey, you and Greg have a lot of hobbies. You don’t know how to play guitar, do ya?
Betty: Sure, I do. I’m not great at it but I’m not bad at it either, dontcha know
Mac: How would I know?
Betty: Mechanic, I’d love to see your nifty little basement spot but I can’t. I need to wait out here for Greg.
Mac: Don’t you worry about it. We got the best spotters in the Desert Sphere. Ms Florence, Corky, can you look for Betty’s brother?
Coyotes Bark
Mac: He’s blue, like Betty here, and he has an accent like Betty here…
Single Coyote Bark
Mac: Do his voice? Uh, I can only do one voice and you’re listenin’ to it. Basically, he sounds like her, just a little lower. Now, go do your coy-oooo-tee duty. Thanks, friends And you. Follow me…
Betty: Well, okay, if you think they can spot him.
Mac: I don’t think it. I know it. Coyotes are like, the best.
Transition
Mac: Well, what do you think?
Betty: Oh, mechanic. I love it. It reminds me of a little dive bar that Greg and I used to do karaoke in.
Mac: You did karaoke? That’s so cool! I try to get Tendy to do karaoke with me, but he says he sounds too much like a muppet and I agree but I pretend to disagree. It’s called lying. Anyways, see this here…
Slaps Guitar
Betty: Oh, that’s a real beaut mechanic. Puts my guitar back at home to shame.
Mac: Well, thank ya. A friend of mine, well, he’s not really a friend but he’s cool. His guitar was actually made by beaaaars. He gave me this one and it’s got a special meaning that I don’t think I have time to go into right now because our stations about to be crushed by celestial beings.
Anyways, pretty sure if I learn how to play this, maybe I can stop that from happening.
Betty: Well, okay, not sure I understood half of what that means, but sure. I can teach you some of the basics, but, I wouldn’t expect to be a Carlos Santana right away
Mac: Carlos Santana? Not sure who that is
Betty: You don’t know who Carlos Santana is? Oye Como Va?
Mac: It’s goin’ great. How’s it goin’ with you?
Betty: Mechanic, listen…
Mac: Betty, there’s a lot going on on the Astral Plane. I don’t even know where to start. I don’t want to bog you down with details, but I feel like there’s a reason you’re here now. Gotta be. And it’s not just to teach me guitar either.
You and Greg are two of the smartest people I ever met. You figured out the video game when Tendy and me had no clue what to do. And you guys can Astral Project. Well, <chuckles>, you can at least.
Betty: <chuckle> Yeah, we’re a couple of the keenest keeners you ever met. Greg has always had this insatiable thirst for everything life had to offer, and I just soaked it right up. I remember when I was just, oh gosh, six I think, and I walked outside and Greg was putting together a model rocket. I asked him if I could press the button to make it go.
And he said, “Betty, I’ll make ya an offer. Pushin’ this button is gonna be fun, no doubt about that. You take this apart with me, let me show ya how it works, and then I’ll let ya press the button. It’ll be more fun than you can imagine”
And that was it. After that I just wanted to learn with my brudder, and he was happy to have me around. We got along famously. Well, most of the time.
Mac: Wow, was there anything you didn’t do together?
Betty: Flying. Greg got his pilot’s license when we were in college, and he asked me to be his co-pilot. I said no. I know that makes him sad. I regret it now.
Mac: Well, for someone who doesn’t like to fly, both times I’ve seen you, you started out in the air.
Betty: Yeah, well, that’s different. I know that I can’t fall here on account of me not actually being here.
Mac: Haha. That’s right. Oh, that reminds me, I better talk to ya fast before Julio bangs the gong and you wake up on the physical plane.
Betty: Well, I’m not actually at meditation class at the moment. I’m projecting from home. What exactly can I help you with, Mechanic? I want to get out there to see if I can find my brother.
Mac: Oh, trust me, Betty. These coyotes area unbelievably good at finding people.
In terms of what you can help me with. Well, like I said, teaching me a little guitar. But, also like I said, you and Greg are two of the smartest people I’ve met, and I got a real dilly of a pickle on my hands, Betty. The Astral Plane is in serious danger, and I think I’m supposed to be the one to fix it.
Can you help me figure it out? It would be so great if I didn’t have to go back upstairs without an answer. Tendy’s up there with some other folks trying to figure out what to do, and I kind of left them in a not so cool way. It’d be cool if I came back with a solution that…makes them forget all about that.
Betty: Okay, gotcha, well tell me a little about the situation you’re facin’ here.
Mac: Really? You’ll help me think through this? You don’t mind.
Betty: Yeah, of course I will. Got nothing to do but wait anyway.
Mac: Okay! Okay…well, first, we should talk about sphere movers. No, the old attendant. No, maybe…you know what? I’m worried Tendy’s gonna come down here looking for me. Hang out here for a minute while I do somethin’ okay?
Betty: Yeah, okay.
OUTSIDE SCENE
Mac: Be slow now Mac ol’ buddy. Don’t let that bell ring too loud.
Door Slowly and Quietly to Interior Scene
Dale (Quiet – From a Distance): The visions. One day I was outside just looking up at the stars. Somethin’ I did often. You know, every sky is different on every sphere, but there’s no sky in the Astral Plane that can hold a candle to the one here. I have missed it….
Mac: (Whisper) Cash, it’s me, Mac the mechanic.
Cash: Mech-
Mac: Shhhhhh
Cash: (Whisper) Mechanic, why are you whispering and why can’t I see you?
Mac: (Whisper) Because I’m crawling and because I don’t want anyone to know I’m here
Cash: (Whisper) Oh.
Mac: (Whisper) Cash. I need a little time downstairs and I don’t want Tendy trying to get me to come back up here. He worries about me, ya know?
Cash: (Whisper) What do I tell him?
Mac: (Whisper) I dunno. I’m fragile. Might flip my lid again.
Cash: (Whisper) I’ll do my best, Mechanic. Might not say “Flip his lid” but I’ll think of something. Mechanic, are you okay though, really?
Mac: (Whisper) Yeah, good good. Just figurin’ out how to save the Astral Plane with a floating blue lady that says don’t-cha-know, a bunch.
Cash: (Whisper) Oh. I’m sorry, what? Mechanic are you still there? Mechanic?
Door Opens and Closes Quietly
Transition to Door Closing to Basement
Mac: Okay. I think I bought us some time.
Betty: Good. Now, lay it on me, Mechanic. What’s wrong with the Astral Plane?
Mac: (Music Plays) Okay, well, let’s start with some basics, the Astral Plane is composed of 33 Spheres, the Desert Sphere being the first sphere, and the 33rd sphere…..
…The old attendant is still out there? I says. Yep, he’s still out there. Corson says. Wow, I says…..
…And basically she fried Tendy’s brain looking into our past, and he starts glitchin’. Ah, damn. Okay, now I gotta explain subbing…”
…She’s got, and I kid you not, lasers in her arms…
…Then they all show up out of nowhere and Corson’s talking about weapons. Like, we only got two weapons here and they’re hangin’ off the sides of me…
…And then I tell Cash don’t let Tendy try to get me back up here. And she’s like what do I say, and I’m like, I’m crazy and then I crawled out of the store like a baby, and don’t you say nothin!, and then I came back here to you.
Well, what do you think?
Betty: That was very… comprehensive. Also, the afterlife is a lot more complicated than I had anticipated. You know what I mean?
Mac: I have no idea. This has pretty much been my life. Talkin’ to travelers, it’s the…what would you call it…before life that seems complicated.
Betty: Touche. Well, let’s see here. You got the all powerful beings who have rebelled and they’re all headed towards this station because the station prepares the skylarks, which protect the passengers for their journey across the celestial spheres. If they can destroy the highway AND the station, the travelers will be forced to travel the spheres unprotected where they will be abducted by evil sphere movers who use them to accomplish their own purposes.
Mac: Precisely.
Betty: Okay. I…got nothing.
Mac: Nothing? Seriously?
Betty: No, Mechanic. Nothin’. This isn’t a game we’re talking about here, this is really really big. I can’t even begin to imagine how you solve a problem like that, and Greg and I, we always figured problems like this out together. Not to mention, I’m worried they won’t find Greg out there in this storm.
Mac: If he gets lost he can just wake up on the Physical Plane and everything’ll be fine. Stop worryin’. Am I right, or am I right?
Betty: Yeah, you’re right I guess.
Mac: Betty, give the other stuff some thought for a while. For now, can you just show me some stuff on the guitar. I’ve learned a little but it’s not going so great. I got taught some by a guy named Bill Harris, but…
Betty: Bill Harris?
Mac: Yeah
Betty: Bill Harris jazz guitarist who played for the R&B group the Clovers?
Mac: Maybe? How would you know that.
Betty: Trivia night! Mindies didn’t always do brainteasers, don’t-cha-know. Trivia every time a month had a 5th Thursday. Okay, let’s hear where you’re at. Wow, taught by Bill Harris himself. Let’s hear it.
Mac: Okay, here it goes.
Sound of horrible guitar playing
Betty: Stop. Stop. Stop. There buddy. You’re not doing my ears a favor. I don’t even know what kind of chord you’re trying to play there, but thats…
Mac: But that’s one of the ones he showed me.
Betty: I know. I know. But Mechanic, he’s Bill Harris.
Mac: So….
Betty: How do I put this gently? He’s an extremely talented musician with years of advanced experience.
Mac: So
Betty: And you’re just a beginner. Not to mention you got fat fingers a little on the short side.
Mac: Are you serious? I’m gonna internalize that
Betty: Hey, that’s how Greg’s hands are too and….
Mac: and is that supposed to make me feel better? Do you also verbally assault your brother?
Betty: Oh, stop bein’ so sensitive. It’s not like I called you a baby.
Mac: But you have called me a baby.
Betty: And you called me a sky demon, so let’s just call it even.
Mac: Fair
Betty: Okay, so let’s start with something really simple. The C Chord. I’m gonna point. Are you watching? Take that finger and put it there, that finger goes there, and that finger will go there.
Okay now hold the guitar like this. Sit up straight. Don’t let you elbow sit on your tummy like that…
Mac: Kinda hard to avoid
Betty: Okay, now hold your pick with your hand like this. Nope, not bent like that, motions gonna come from the elbow not the wrist, okay, we’re just doin’ simple downstrokes for now. Ready? Go.
Sound of Downstroke in C
Betty: Very good, Mechanic. Nice work there.
Mac: Really?
Betty: Oh, Yeah. Now, let’s see here. Let’s try doing it over and over again at a consistent pace. Ready? And go?
Mac: Mac playing with no rhythm.
Betty: Okay, so, keeping your own rhythm doesn’t work. That’s okay! Look, I can clap, at least I think I can, and you try playing along to …
Mac: No need! Check this out
Sound of Intercom Being Engaged
Mac: Cash!
Cash: Mechanic?
Mac: Can I get like a real basic drum beat playin’ down here?
Cash: Sure thing, Mechanic. Acoustic or synthesized?
Mac: I dunno. Surprise me.
Cash: Very well. Playing now.
Simple Drum Beat Plays
Betty: Whoa, that’s pretty fancy.
Mac: Ain’t it though? I love my friends.
Betty: Well, that’s good to hear.
Mac: You and Greg are part of that group.
Betty: Part of what group?
Mac: My friends.
Betty: Thank you, Mechanic. I’m sure Greg would love to hear that.
Mac: He will. Now, watch this….
Sound of Guitar Being Strummed More Consistently.
Transition Music
Betty: ….Very good, and now, E. Perfect Mechanic!
Mac: I did good?
Betty: You did very good! Mechanic with those chords, you can play just about any song.
Mac: Could I write my own?
Betty: Well, sure.
Mac: I think I’m supposed to write my own. Maybe. I don’t know if I am. I don’t know if I could. Betty, you ever write a song?
Betty: Oh sure, lots of em. Let’s see here, I wrote “Don’t Fall Through Da Ice, Greg”, “Greg, that’s my donut” and “Did I Forget Who I Am?”
Mac: Wow, that’s like 66% songs about Greg.
Betty: Yeah, well. I was always tryin’ to make him laugh.
Mac: Forgive me sayin’, but that last song you said, what was it?
Betty: Um, Did I Forget Who I Am?
Mac: That sounds funny. Unless it’s about actual memory loss…
Betty: Oh, no. That’s a song I wrote about…
Mac: A song you wrote about what?
Betty: Well, it’s also about Greg, kinda. When I was little. I had um, a bit of a temper.
Mac: What? I don’t believe it. You? Aside from saying horrible things about my body, you’re one of the nicest people I know!
Betty: Yeah, well I wasn’t always like this. I think it’s part of why Greg always wanted me around. He knew I wasn’t great at making friends. So he invited me into his world. I loved it there.
You know when I got mad at my friends, they’d stop talking to me. I’d try to apologize but they didn’t want any part of it.
But when I got mad at Greg, and boy I got mad at Greg sometimes, he’d just pull me aside and say “Did you forget who you are? Huh? Did you forget who I am? You’re my sister, I’m you’re brother, and I love you” and that was it. The mad went away.
So one time when I was about twelve, it happened again. I lost my temper. I told him, darnit Greg I forgot again, and he said why don’t you write a song about it, see if that helps you to remember.
We’d been learning a little guitar, so I thought why not?
Mac: And what’d you right?
Betty: Tell you what. You play it for me, and I’ll sing it.
Mac: I dunno if I can….
Betty: You can, Mechanic. I promise.
Mac: What do I do?
Betty: Do you have something to write with and write on?
Mac: Yeah, let’s see, I got a pencil here and I can write on the back of this childhood memory.
Betty: Perfect. Write down the chords I taught you…
Mac: Okay…
Betty: Now, when I say go, start strumming really gentle like, and when I point at a chord, you start playing that one.
Mac: Got it.
Betty: Okay, then. Start…here
Here we are
It’s plain to see
That I’ve hurt someone close to me
I never meant for things to get so bad
When I do
The things I do
These words I say as if they’re true
And all the things I do to make you sad
Did I forget who I am?
Did I forget who you are?
Did I forget we have each other
And that when I’ve gone too far
You’re still my friend
You’ll always be
Then you look down and say to me
Little sister, <sniffle>, just remember, who you are
Mac: Betty, what’s wrong?
Betty: The one thing I couldn’t do with him mechanic…I couldn’t fly.
Mac: Well, that’s no big deal. Lots a people don’t like flyin’.
Betty: But maybe if I’d been there…
Mac: Been where?
Betty: He left the Rockliffe Flying Club yesterday, headed to Wisconsin. They lost track of him over Lake Michigan.
Mac: You’re sayin…
Betty: Greg is dead, Mechanic. That’s why I came here. I was watching the highway waiting for him to show up.
Mac: Betty, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.
Betty: You said that everyone who died comes here, right? Isn’t that what you said?
Mac: Well, I think so. I don’t know. And time here is just straight up weird. We’ve had people who died together, seconds apart, show up what felt a long time in between, like hundreds of travelers between.
Betty: I don’t know how to live without my brother, Mechanic. He, he um….
Mac: Betty, I don’t know what to say. I don’t gotta whole lot of experience talkin’ to live people about stuff like this. I guess it’s kind of the same thing. People here grieving the loss of the living. People there grieving the loss of the dead.
It’s all temporary, ya know. You’ll be here someday too. And we’ll help you down that road just like we’ll help Greg when he gets here.
Betty: Are you kidding? You can’t send him down that road mechanic. Not after what you told me about the highway being destroyed and dangerous sphere movers and….
Mac: God, you’re right. Well, as long as Shirley’s car is parked at the station travelers can’t arrive anyway. We’ll just leave it. But, we can’t do that forever. Betty, I know you’re upset but I can’t figure this out without you. I need your help.
Betty: I can’t Mac, there’s no way. This is the kind of thing that Greg and I would always do together.
Mac: Betty, just cause you and Greg figured out stuff together, doesn’t mean that you can’t figure it out alone. I mean, sure, two heads are better than one, but one head is better than none. Besides, you got my head and even though it thinks a little weird it can still be useful.
Betty: I don’t know, Mechanic. I think…
Mac: Betty, please, if Greg was here you think he’d say “Don’t even try Betty, dont-cha-know. You’re nothin’ without me, don’t-cha-know” Is that what he’d say? No, you know it isn’t. What would he say Betty?
Betty: He’d…he’d say “Chin up, kid sister. You got work to do. Remember who you are”
Mac: And is who you are someone who gives up when they’re needed most?
Betty: No, No that’s not who I am.
Okay, just a second. Let me think.
Mac, when you were telling me the story, you said your robot…
Mac: Cash?
Betty: Right, Cash. Mechanic, here’s what I’m thinking…
(Verse
We’re trying to figure out
How we’ll save the Astral Plane
I’m bein’ used as a soundin’ board
And this one gets to use their brain)
Betty: You said that with enough power she could send a signal to all the other Cash Units on the Astral Plane, the rest of the robot army.
(Bridge
Maybe if we work together we’ll see
A perfect astral opportunity
Chorus
Don’t stop the thinkin’ bout the Desert Sphere
What we’re doin’ here
Has the power to save the day)
Even though it’s never day on this sphere
I think my meaning was clear
Don’t get caught up on the words I say)
Mac: Yeah, but Cash said that in addition to some other stuff I can’t begin to understand, we’d need a lot of power.
(Bridge
Maybe if we work together we’ll see
A perfect astral opportunity
Betty: And you said that the old woman’s car being in the driveway makes it where no one else can show up?
Mac: That’s right.
Betty: Attendant, listen closely.
(Chorus
Don’t stop the thinkin’ bout the Desert Sphere
What we’re doin’ here
Has the power to save the day
Even though it’s never day on this sphere
I think my meaning was clear
Don’t get caught up on the words I say)
MUSIC FADES
Betty: And you’re confident you can handle the wiring?
Mac: I can.
Betty: And I can show you how to convert the broadcast signal.
Mac: Betty, you are amazing. Good lord. You’re brother would be so proud of you.
Betty: I miss him, mechanic. So much. Will I see him again?
Mac: I’m sure you will. Listen, if he shows up here, I’m not letting him leave until you get a chance to talk to him. Now let’s go give Tendy the good news.
Tendy: Mac, are you down there?
Mac: Comin’ up now, bud.
Tendy: Mac, I have to tell you something.
Mac: I have to tell you something too.
Tendy: What in the hell is that behind you?
Mac: Excuse me, don’t you mean, who the hell is that behind me?
Tendy: Look, it doesn’t matter.
Mac: Tendy
Tendy: Mac
Mac: I know how we’re going to save the Astral Plane
Tendy: I know how we’re going to save the Astral Plane
OUTRO
Jared: Greetings traveler, this is Jared Carter. I wrote, produced, and performed all the characters in this episode. The songs Did I Forget Who I Am and Save The Astral Plane were written and composed by me. The guitar in this episode was played by my son, Amador, who willing played worse than he’s capable of
What follows is a bonus scene I think you’ll enjoy. This one goes out to every patron who joined since the last episode:
Gas Station Interior
Mechanic: Okay, let’s see. Does your traveler have horns?
Corson: Mechanic, as I’ve said many times, none of the travelers have horns. They don’t have snake tongues, or scorpion tails, or face tattoos.
Mechanic: I just don’t get it.
Corson: You don’t have to. Now please it’s my turn, and I’m about to end this game. Mechanic, does your traveler wear glasses.
Mechanic: Ummmm, yep, yep he does.
Corson: Good. Mechanic I’d like to guess now.
Mechanic: Be my guest.
Corson: Is your traveler, Ketih?
Mechanic: Let’s see here….nope. Not Keith.
Corson: But that’s not possible.
Mechanic: Oh, I can assure you it is.
Corson: But I, I never lose at this game. I…I couldn’t have missed one. Are you certain?
Mechanic: Of course I am.
Corson: Then who is it? Is it Emerson?
Mac: No
Corson: Lars?
Mac: Nuh-uh
Corson: Josh?
Mac: Nope
Corson: Nicole?
Mechanic: Oh my God, wrong again
Corson: Nancy?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Emily?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Eevee?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Owen?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Jackie?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Brandon?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Jennifer?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Hunter?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Paige?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Tillie?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Abigail?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Kate?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Sara?
Mechanic: No
Corson: Aeryn?
Mechanic: No
Corson: That’s not possible. Mechanic, who is your traveler?
Mechanic: It’s Kee-ith
Corson: Sorry. Did you say Kee-ith? You mean Keith
Mechanic: Nope. Not Keith. Kee-ith. See here, K-e-i-t-h. Kee-ith
Corson: God, I hate humans.
Mechanic: What? What did I do? Corson, what did I do? Huh, Guess I won